The Weak Link
by Alyssa4
Summary: Dave does something drastic
1. Default Chapter

The Weak Link  
By Alyssa Santos  
Summery: This is a Dave Angst  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
Keyword: Dave Malucci  
  
"Malucci! Malucci wake up!" Dave bolted upright at the sudden noise. He looked at the clock 8:03 a.m. He had only slept 10 minutes.  
"Malucci, you've got patients to see." Dave threw his legs over the side of the gurney. He was soaking wet. Sweat covered his whole body, head to toe. "My goodness Dave. You must only be 20% water now. Clean yourself up before you see anyone." With that Haleh left. Dave wiped his forehead, bringing his hand back covered in sweat. Dave didn't remember, but whatever he was dreaming must have been pretty tense.  
  
Dave Malucci finished the third stitch. "You doing good, only two left." he said to the 14 year old girl he was stitching up. The girl cringed but didn't say anything. The door to the room opened and Jing Mei entered.  
"Malucci, have you seen Mark?" She asked.  
"Nope, and I really don't care." He answered. Jing Mei left.  
  
Dave was telling the girl and her mother how to care for the stitches when Jing Mei entered again. "I still don't know where he is." He said in his playful mocking tone.  
"Kerry wants you." She said with a slight smile. *Uh oh.* Dave thought, he was probably in for it. He looked at his patient and smiled.  
"Well, that's just about it. You're done here. Have a nice day." He gave them a big smile then exited the room.  
  
Kerry was waiting for him. Dave walked up real nonchalant and gave her a big smile. "What's up Chief?" He asked. She was cross, he could tell.  
"Malucci remember that patient...." Dave didn't listen to any more. He was very good at pretending to listen, nodding at the right time and such. He often blocked people out, and let his mind wander. He was thinking of snow and the mountains now. He was so deep in thought he almost missed the end of her lecture. "So what are you going to do?" She asked.  
"Fix it." He said seriously, he had no idea what she as talking about.  
"Damn right!" With that she left, hobbling down the corridor.  
  
Dave watched her leave then walked up to the reception desk. "Hey Randi. What is she mad about." Randi looked at him with an incredulous look on her face.  
"That patient. The one with the hair." She said matter-of-factly. Dave smiled.  
"Oh, her." With that he walked off, with absolutely no intent on fixing the problem.   
  
Dave was just walking up to admit looking for any new patients when Jerry announced a trauma coming in. "ETA two minutes." Dave walked up to Mark, who was getting ready for the trauma.   
"What is it?" he asked.  
"Car accident. They're bringing in someone with a head trauma." Mark answered as he pulled on his gloves.  
"I'll help." he said, pulling on a gown and gloves.  
  
Kerry, Benton and Carter came just about the same time as the ambulance. They pulled the gurney into Trauma 1 and began work. From the very beginning Dave was pushed into the background. As he made his way to the gurney Kerry turned to him. "Dave what are you doing here? I think four doctors is enough to handle this."   
"But.." Dave complained.  
"Out!" Kerry said, allowing no leeway for more complaints. Mark and Carter looked at him sympathetically but quickly turned back to the patient.   
  
Dave stormed out of the room ripping off his gown and gloves and hurling them into the garbage can. He stormed off, unaware of the many eyes aimed in his direction.  
He somehow found himself lying on the bathroom floor. He didn't remember going there exactly, but remembered storming out of Trauma 1 and having no patients to attend. He sat there, very uncomfortably staring at the scalpel he was holding. He didn't remember picking up the scalpel either. But what did it matter, he had it now. He stared at it for a moment, only half trying to talk himself out of it. A little voice inside say 'Why not? You're the laughing stock of your peers, your superiors don't think you can do anything right, your family wants nothing to do with you, and you have no love life.' The little voice sealed it. He was determined to do it and when he decided to do something he never backed out. He wondered why he couldn't wait, why he had to do it here, in the hospital bathroom. Maybe he wanted them to realize what he was going through. Maybe he didn't really want to die, maybe he wanted them to save him. Or maybe he just wanted to get it over with. Whatever the reason, he knew this was where it was going to happen. He smiled slightly, then made the first cut.  
  
  



	2. The Weak Link 2

The Weak Link 2  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
"Mister." Mark felt a light tug at his coat. He turned to see and little boy staring up at him. He was no more then five years old. "Where's the bathroom?" He asked. Mark pointed.  
"Just over there, first door." Mark returned to his chart. He hadn't read more then two lines when he heard a loud shriek. He turned towards the bathroom and saw the little boy, his head disappeared around the edge of the door. He was screaming now, every eye turned to the door. Mark rushed to the bathroom, knowing personally what could happen in one. Whatever he thought didn't prepare him for what he was about to see. Dave was slouched in the corner, as if he had nodded off to sleep. His wrists laid palm up at each of his sides, bleeding profusely.  
  
Mark didn't even hesitate. "Quick, someone help me in here!" he cried. Kerry was the first to come. She had been at the desk and had heard the screams. "Oh my God!" She gasped but did not enter, she knew that with her useless leg she couldn't help. "Quick! Everyone! It's Dave!"  
  
It took only seconds for Carter to appear in the doorway, but to Mark it was a lifetime.   
"What happened?" Carter asked, though it was obvious.  
"We need a gurney in here!" Mark called loudly, then softer so only Carter could hear. "We need to stop the bleeding. There, you take that wrist."  
  
They sat there desperately trying to keep the blood inside their friend's body, closing the slits with their hands and waiting, waiting for someone to come. By the time a gurney arrived Mark and Carter were soaked in blood up to the elbows of their lab coats. Haleh gasped as she helped push the gurney towards them. "OK nice and easy like." Mark said. Him and carter kept their grips on the wrists and let Haleh. Chuny and Malik hoist him onto the gurney.  
  
Mark pushed the gurney rapidly to trauma 2. "Anyone know Dave's Blood type?"   
"No," Chuny answered. "But I can get it."  
"Do that, get some 0- down here while we wait. He's losing a lot of blood."  
"His pressures dropping." Haleh announced.  
"He's not breathing!" Malik said hurriedly. "He's in V-Fib!"  
  
"Paddles!" Mark called. "Charge 100....Clear!" Dave's body jerked upward.  
"Still in V-Fib!"  
"Charge 200....Clear!" Mark called immediately.  
"Sinus rhythm!" Malik called, relief in his voice. Mark inwardly sighed, but tried to show no emotion.  
  
"Let's try to close these up before he bleeds to death." Mark said in his regular sarcastic tone.   
"Suture kits and the 0-." Chuny said as she entered the room.  
"OK. Two bags on the rapid infuser, and lets stitch him up."  
  
"OK, he's stable." Mark said, stripping off his gloves and throwing them in the trash. "Has anyone contacted any family?" he asked. Haleh stepped up.   
"I tried, but I couldn't get a hold of anyone." She said.  
"OK, try again. Let's keep someone in here at all times. When he wakes up get me." To someone who didn't know Mark he sounded harsh, but everyone knew he was feeling as much as everyone, if not more.   
  
Even though everything was done nobody left the room. They all stared at Dave's limp body. Haleh was the first to speak.  
"I don't.... I don't know how many times I've seen him sleeping. I saw him this morning for Christ's sake." she paused and took a deep breath. "But now... He's not the same. Now he looks different." without any words everyone looked at him and silently agreed. He did look different.  
  
  
"We were kind of mean to him weren't we?" Jing-Mei asked. She and Carter were sitting in the lounge, Carter had taken off his lab coat but there was still some dried blood on his arms.  
"Yes, but he was always acting mean and deserving it." Carter said lamely.  
"But we never told him anything nice about himself did we? It could have been a personal defense mechanism. Maybe it was really a cry for help, and none of us were listening." Jing-Mei said. "Whatever it was he apparently wasn't who we thought he was." with that she walked off, leaving Carter.  
  
Carter decided to find Benton. It was the first person he thought of and they had a special bond. He found him in Exam 4. He was just finishing with a patient. Carter decided to wait outside for him, but not before letting him know he was there. Benton finished up and came out to join Carter. "Whats up, Carter?" he asked, looking at him for a moment.  
"Benton, if you were to describe Malucci in one phrase what would it be?"  
"Self-assured." Benton said without hesitation. Carter sighed, it was the answer he had expected. "What's the matter?" Benton asked, knowing now that something was wrong.   
"I guess you haven't heard." Carter said softly. Benton was looking at him questionably.  
"I have been working with that patient for over half an hour, and I was with one before that." Carter didn't wait, he just blurted it out.  
"He tried to kill himself." he looked down at his feet. Benton stopped abruptly.  
"What?"  
"Dave, he tried to kill himself. In the ER bathroom. He was on duty." Carter paused, looking at his feet and holding back tears. "I held his wrist in my hands. Me and Mark. We had to stop the bleeding. He was already unconscious but..." Carter was cut off by a tidal wave of emotion.   
  
Benton looked around. "Here, lets go in here." He said, leading Carter to an empty room. He guided Carter to a bed and sat him on it. Carter was openly crying now. Even in the dark room Benton could see the terrified look on his face. Carter stared at Benton for a while, then looked at his hands, studied them. There was a great deal of dry blood on them. Benton saw this and knew he had to do something.   
"Carter." He said slowly. "I want you to stay here. I'm going to go check on Dave (he was purposely using his first name), and I'll get you something to clean your hands with OK? Just stay here." Benton stayed staring at Carter for a while, when he knew he understood he got up and left.  
  
As soon as he was out the door he went to admitting. "Jerry, I don't want anyone to go into Exam 4. Is that clear." Jerry nodded, he knew Benton's no non-sense tone. "Where's Mark?" He asked. Jerry merely pointed. Benton followed his finger and saw Mark emerging from a room. Benton walked briskly over to him.   
"I just heard about Dave." he said bluntly.  
"Sorry we didn't inform you. We didn't really have time to call everyone. He's stable now though." Mark motioned through the window.   
  
To Benton it looked like Dave, but didn't seem like him. Benton was used to smiles and witty remarks. "My..." was all he managed to say. It took him a moment to break out but he finally turned to Mark.   
"Carter's not doing so well." he said simply.  
"Carter helped me with Dave when we first found him. I think it was too much for him. I should of gotten someone else, but we didn't have any time." Benton nodded.  
"I agree, but he is pretty shaken up. Maybe you should talk to him. First I need to get some wet paper towels." With that he walked off to the bathroom, noting a particularly bloody spot, and got some towels.  
  
  
  
The psyche consult came out of the room and walked up to Greene and Weaver. "He's still unconscious, but I can tell you something without even talking to him."  
"Yes Bill?" Weaver asked.  
"The fact that he did it here at the hospital tells me something. Either he did it in a sudden act of desperation. Or, more likely, he had been thinking about it for quite some time, years maybe, and did it here for a reason. Probably because he wanted you to see what was happening. Probably because he knew you would save him." Bill went silent for a while, letting them soak it in, then spoke again. "I'll be upstairs, you can call me when he wakes up." Then he walked away and turned the corner.  
  
Green and Weaver stood silent for a while. Weaver was the first to talk. "How could this happen? Did anybody expect it?"  
"I don't think so. He didn't even seem depressed. This was more of a shock then Carol was."  
~~~  
  
Carter walked into Dave's room and stood next to the gurney, and solemnly looked down at the sleeping figure on it. He was startled when it talked, "What did I do?" it asked quietly. Carter took a deep breath.  
"You tried to kill yourself." Almost immediately Dave responded.  
"Oh, God." Dave instinctively tried to bring his arms p to cover his eyes and the newly forming tears, but they were strapped down. Carter stood and watched awkwardly and then finally decided to undo the restraints. Dave brought his arms to cover his face.  
  
Carter had never seen him cry, or sad for that matter. He guessed he'd just assumed that Dave was never sad and never cried. Come to think of it he had only seen Malucci normal and angry. Suddenly Dave sat up and leaned his forehead against Carter's stomach.  
"What did I do?"  
  
~~~  
Kerry sat, catching her breath before she got back to work. *I yelled at him* she thought *I made fun of him*.  
"Don't blame yourself, no one knew he was depressed." Mark entered.  
"How is that possible?" She asked angrily. She sniffed, she was starting to cry. "We've seen hundreds of them haven't we?" She looked up at mark, her eyes watery. "Depressed, committing suicide, on drugs. We always know what the patients are experiencing. And yet... Yet we never even think about it when it comes to people we know. We don't do we? I mean Carol, Carter, and now Dave? What's wrong with us?" She was all and out crying now. Mark came and kneeled to be eye to eye with her.  
  
"Kerry, Kerry listen to me. We can't change what has happened. No one can. What's done is done. We can't blame ourselves. Right now all we have to do is be supportive. OK?"  
"Yeah, right." She answered solemnly  
  
End of part two  



	3. The Weak Link 3

The Weak Link 3  
  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
Dave had been transferred to recovery and Carter had decided to see him. As Carter neared the room he heard laughing from inside. He opened the door and stepped in to find Dave still on his bed reading a magazine. He laughed again and looked up at Carter. The smile was there. That distinct smile that belonged only to Dave. His eyes seemed to laugh as they looked into Carter's. "Have you read this one?" he asked, holding up the magazine. Carter shook his head no. "Well you should," he said looking once more at its pages. "Its a crack up."   
"Dave." Carter said, cutting off conversation.  
"What?" Dave asked, as if there was no reason for Carter to be talking to him.  
"Why did you do it?" He asked  
"Wha..." Carter interrupted him again  
"You're as happy as can be." Carter answered, motioning to the magazine. Unexpectedly Dave's face turned solemn and grave.  
"Whoever said that?" He asked.  
"You're laughing. Just like your old sel...." Carter started.  
"And how did you know I was happy then?" Dave asked, he eyes unrelenting staring straight at Carter. Then as suddenly as it had disappeared the smile was back, his eyes went back to the magazine.  
"Hey, don't beat yourself up Carter. You had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all." Carter caught himself smiling slightly.  
  
He got up to leave. He was almost to the door when Dave spoke again. "I guess I'm the weak link now." He said casually. Carter turned back to see Dave looking back at him. He only took a moment to figure out what to say then answered. "Maybe so. But if you repair a broken link right, it can become stronger then the others." Dave smiled again and again turned his eyes to the magazine.  
"Very poetic Carter."  
~~~  
  
Bill the psych consult walked down the hall. Kerry spotted him before he spotted her. She walked right up to him and said simply, "So?"  
"Well," he said, clearing his throat. "We have been talking. Most of it is strictly confidential, you'll have to ask him yourself. I can say though that he is feeling a great deal of remorse."  
"That's good." Kerry said for him.  
"Yes, yes it is. He doesn't want to try it again, he wishes he never had. However most of the remorse has to do with his work."  
Kerry looked at him questionably.  
"He is afraid he will never be seen the same in his co-workers eyes. Which is absolutely true. He can never go back to before it happened in your minds. He's very upset over that."  
  
Kerry sighed, she didn't know what to say. Finally she just came out with it. "Will he be able to work again?"  
"Oh yes." The man said. "I have no doubt. He should be able to come back after only a few weeks. The problem is he needs something to keep his mind busy. Not working might do more bad then good, he needs something to do. He'll need a lot of help though. He needs to be supported, but he won't like that so you have to do it discreet like. He'll want you all to forget it ever happened, but he will probably get mad when you don't acknowledge it. It's very hard, working with people like him. You can make or break him. He's strong though. I have no doubt he'll make it." There was a long pause, and he looked at Kerry for a while. "I'll send someone down to talk with staff." Kerry knew what he meant, someone to counsel them.   
  
When it was evident she didn't have anything to say he added "You can call and ask me any questions you'd like. I'll need to make a schedule to meet with him. It will be hard but I'll try to meet with him personally. OK?" Kerry nodded, he stayed for a moment, then walked back towards the elevator.  
  
  
End of part three  
  
  



	4. The Weak Link 4

The Weak Link 4  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
"So there me and Mark were, sitting on the floor holding his wrists..." Carter gave a short laugh. "It must have been a site."  
"Can you get into any more detail?" The psychologist that had come down asked. Carter looked at him, he seemed young, this was probably a learning case for him. As far as Carter knew he was the first of the ER staff he had seen.  
Mark was up against the wall. I was on the side facing the stalls..."  
"How about Dr. Malucci. Any descriptions you can think of?" he interrupted.  
"Well, his head was turned towards me. His eyes were closed, he was unconscious. His lips were slightly parted... I don't know. I spent most of the time looking away..." Carter ambled.  
"That's OK. That's enough. Now I heard you just got back from.... taking a break. That Lucy's death took you really hard. Didn't someone else close to you try to commit suicide?" He asked. Carter thought for a while.  
"Oh... You mean Gant. That was ruled an accident."  
"Did you think it was an accident?"  
"I don't know. I guess I was leaning towards suicide, but I really don't know." He looked back at the psychologist, who was looking down scribbling on a pad of paper.   
  
He looked up again. "Well Dr.Carter, that's all I have for now. I might contact you again sometime. Oh, and here are some numbers... If you need to talk to someone." Carter took them and nodded. The psychologist stood up to shake Carter's hand. "It was nice talking to you. Would you mind calling Dr. Chen in here please?"  
"Sure." Carter said and he smiled as he left the room.  
  
He walked up to admitting. "Randi, where's Jing Mei?" He asked. Randi pointed at a room. "Thanks Randi." Carter said sarcastically. Carter walked up to the room and entered quietly. Jing Mei was talking to a patient about her options.   
"I'll give you some time to think about it." Jing Mei said with a smile. She started to walk and motioned for Carter to follow her out.  
"What is it?" She asked.  
"The psychologist wants to see you." He answered. Jing Mei nodded and started walking towards the lounge. "How long will this take?" She asked as an afterthought.   
"Took me 15 minutes." Carter answered. Jing Mei nodded and continued on.  
~~~  
  
"I heard about it when he was already in the trauma room. Me and a crowd of people waited outside the doors. Ignoring our patients, trying to get a glimpse. It was impossible though, there were too many people crowded around him. So we all just waited. Later John came out and told us what happened. When he and I were alone we started conjecturing why he did it. I kept on saying how we weren't nice to him. He kept on insisting that we were only mean because he was."  
"Um Hmmm. So Dr. Carter was denying quilt." he stated, waiting to see if Dr. Chen contradicted.  
"Well not exactly." Jing Mei started, she mentally kicked herself for ever saying it. "He was just saying that he was mean too. And he was. Dave wasn't a very easy person to get a long with."  
"So he didn't have many friends." The psychologist was writing again.  
"What about family?"  
"None that I heard of." again he started writing.  
"Girlfriend? Was he seeing anybody." Jing Mei just shrugged. Jing Mei knew what he was doing. She knew very well that he wasn't the psychologist that was seeing Dave. He was secretly trying to get her to realize that Dave had a very sad life and they should have been more supportive. Well it was working.  
~~~  
  
"Hi Carol, how are you doing?" Mark asked into the receiver. "Good. Oh I'm fine. I know I haven't called you. I wasn't planning on either. Oh No." He smiled at Carol's sarcastic wit. "I've been busy. Any way the reason why I called you." His voice turned grave again. "It's about Dave. Yeah, that Dave." This time he hadn't laughed at her joke, and now she knew something was wrong. "He tried to kill himself Carol." He paused. Neither one of them spoke. "Hey, we didn't expect it either. I just thought you'd like to know. And I thought maybe you'd.... Oh you'll talk to him? Great. Thanks a lot Carol. I'll call you again I promise, I'm on shift right now.... Ok....I call you. Bye."  
~~~  
  
Dave woke up again. He had a pounding headache. He figured his medication was wearing off. They told him to call them in if it did, but he had no intention of calling them. Even now he was planning to play the tough guy. He had already seen the psychologist twice in the three days since it happened. He had told him things he hadn't planned on telling anyone. Things he wasn't planning to tell anyone ever again.  
~~~  
  
"Hey Carol." Dave said as he got on the phone. Carol was unnerved. She had expected him to be sad, to talk softly or not talk to her at all, but he wasn't. He sounded perfectly normal.   
"Hey." she managed.   
"So, I guess you've heard." He stopped to crunch on whatever he was eating.  
"Yeah. Mark told me."  
"Mmmm... Good old Mark. Aren't you supposed to be comforting me now?" He was sarcastic, and there was a laughing tone to his voice. She could imagine the smile on his face and the glimmer in his eyes.  
"I was supposed to, but you sound all right to me." She said. She was trying to tread softly but wasn't too sure if she was doing it right.  
"That's right. And do you know why? Because I am fine." Carol found herself clenching her teeth. He was himself all right. and yet she knew she had to be nice to him. She knew what he was going through, and she planned on being supportive.  
  
"Dave, I know what you're going through. I did it too, before you came to work here." she said slowly  
"Yeah? I heard that but wasn't sure if it was true." he said sounding a little interested.  
"Yep. Except I did pills."  
"Yeah I thought about pills, but where's the heroics in that?" Carol sighed, she had once heard that from Shep.  
"So what method did you use?"  
"Slit the wrists." Dave answered bluntly.  
"Really?" Carol asked, intrigued.  
"Yeah, in the hospital bathroom too. I was on duty."  
"Really?" Carol asked again.  
"Yep." Dave said. Then a strange thing happened, they both started to laugh. Soon they were trading suicide stories.  
~~~  
"I was up in the OR when it happened. I only heard it later from Benton." Elizabeth Corday was trying to explain to the young psychologist across from her.  
"Yes so you've said, but I still have to talk to you. Now I heard that you were often lecturing Dr. Malucci on his competence as a doctor." He looked up from his notepad for once to look at Elizabeth. She wondered briefly who had told him that then quickly snapped to her defense.  
"Only really on one occasion. He had made a big mistake and I was simply trying to set him on the right path."  
"So you didn't really think he was a bad doctor."  
"I didn't think he was a bad doctor but he wasn't an extremely good doctor either. But he did have his moments... occasionally."  
"So did you let him know this? That you thought he was OK?" the psychologist asked. Elizabeth sighed, glancing at the clock and hoping she would be paged.  
~~~  
  
Carter walked into the room and saw that Dave was on the phone. "Uh Huh. Yeah. Not much but Carter just walked in." Dave was saying. "Uh huh. Yep. Ok I'll talk to ya later." With that Dave hung up the phone and turned to Carter. "Why good morning Carter. I was starting to get worried, you aren't usually this late."  
"Yeah I'm sorry, I was busy. Who was that on the phone?"  
"Carol."  
"Oh." Carter said lamely  
  
"So I've heard the psychologist is seeing you guys." Dave said with a sly smile.  
"Who told you?" Carter asked surprised. He would have thought that Dave was out of the loop.  
"Oh Randi calls me when she gets bored." Dave smiled and looked down at his hands. "Hey, I didn't cause any emotional harm did I?" he asked without looking up.  
"Actually you did. We're all your friends you know." Carter looked at him sincerely. Dave looked up at him briefly then shrugged, turning back to his hands.  
"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled. Carter sighed, he didn't know how to convince Dave that they really were his friends.  
"Look Dave, I know we didn't always show it, but we do care about you, and none of us wanted this to happen. We act like jerks sometimes, but so do you. Doesn't mean that we don't care about each other."  
"Did your psychologist tell you do say that?" Dave asked mockingly.  
"No." Carter replied honestly.  
  
Dave looked up at him again, sizing him up, making sure he was telling the truth. He shrugged and laid back. He didn't mean to groan as he did so, but he must have.  
"Are you all right? Do you need more meds?" Carter asked, a little worried, he knew what pain could feel like.  
"Are you kidding? I can handle it."  
There was a long awkward silence. Finally Carter decided to break it.  
"We tried to get a hold of family.."  
"Good luck." Dave interrupted with a snicker. Carter continued, ignoring Dave's comment.  
"Now that you're awake, is there anyone you'd like us to call for you?" Dave was shaking his head before Carter even finished.  
"Nope. "  
  
"When you are released from the hospital you should have somewhere to go."  
"I have somewhere to go. My apartment. Thanks for your concern Carter, but I think that I can handle THIS myself." Dave said, emphasizing 'this' as if it was nothing compared to some of the things he'd handled before.  
~~~  
A WEEK LATER  
  
"Hello Kerry. Well, I haven't seen you in a while." Dave said as Kerry walked into his room. "So, Bill the pysch man is releasing me today." His hands were resting behind his head and he had a sneer on his face. Kerry limped over to stand next to his bed.  
"Yes I heard. He said you can get back to work in no time." She said casually, trying to be her normal self, as Bill had suggested.  
"Well that's good isn't it?" Dave asked, calling her bluff. "Good for both of us."  
  
~~~  
  
Dave walked leisurely through the ambulance bay entrance and waltzed towards the lounge. Carter was the only person in the lounge, quickly getting ready so he wouldn't be late. Carter turned around and his jaw dropped in surprise. "Dave, what are you doing here?"  
"I'm on." Dave said, as he walked over to his locker and started getting ready.  
"You're on?" Carter didn't understand, then it hit him. "You're on. Isn't it a little early?" He asked cautiously.  
"Nope. Bill the Pysch man has cleared me for take off." Dave said, making fun of his psychologist.  
"When was that?"  
"Yesterday." Dave said as he opened his locker. He already had his scrubs on so he just looked at it then closed it again.  
"And you don't think you need more rest?" Carter asked aimlessly.  
"Nope, the thought never crossed my mind." With that he threw a phony smile at Carter and left the lounge.  
~~~  
  
Dave worked as much as he could, he took any shifts offered to him and even asked other people to give him their shifts. He often worked more then one shift at a time, and when he did have time off he barely ever rested. Many times he would spend his in between hours in the hospital, sometimes sitting in the cafeteria for hours waiting for his next shift to start. Kerry and the rest of the ER staff was worried. They didn't want to deny him shifts. They thought that if he was atleast at the hospital he wouldn't try to kill himself again.  
~~~  
  
The day was going slow and Dave had a double shift, so he decided to catch a couple of winks while he could.  
~~~  
  
"Kerry, MVA trauma is coming in. Three victims. ETA two minutes." Randi announced as Kerry walked by the desk.  
"OK page Carter, Jing Mei, Kovac, and Benton." Kerry said, already leaving to prepare for the patients  
"Should we wake up Malucci?" Randi asked.  
Kerry seemed to think for a moment. "No let him sleep unless we really need him."  
~~~  
  
"Why didn't you wake me up!?!" Dave demanded marching towards Kerry after learning of the trauma.  
"I thought it would be better.." Kerry started  
"Kerry, you're not my mother! You're not my sister! You're not even my friend! You are my boss! I'm supposed to be working and you're supposed to be enforcing it!" He stood, pointing his finger at Kerry for a second then storming off again. Kerry stood there dazed and confused. She wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do. Jing Mei walked up to her and touched her lightly on the shoulder.  
"He's going through hard times Kerry. You can't listen to everything he says. Kerry nodded and walked stunned to the Exam room she had been heading for.  
  
Dave had found his way to the bathroom. He picked a stall and locked himself in it. He let out a deep breath and rested his head in his hands. He shouldn't have gone off on Kerry like that. He was mad, for sure, but he shouldn't have done it. He knew what he thought of people with tempers, he didn't want anyone to think of him that way. It was just that his emotions were all over the place, he reasoned with himself. He had tried to comment suicide and he realized that he was probably still mildly suicidal. He sat there, thinking of what he should do, what he wanted to do. He sat there for ten full minutes, then slowly emerged and found his way back to the admit desk.  
  
"Hey Kerry. Listen, I'm sorry." Dave said apologetically before she even knew he was there. Kerry turned and saw Dave's solemn face.  
"It's ok Dave. First days back are always rough." she said. There was a long awkward silence that followed. Finally Kerry broke it by saying, "There are some patients who need attention." Dave nodded and walked off with out another word.  
~~~  
  
So far he had seen one mild concussion, two chest pains, and a small laceration. He carried the chart over to Exam 2 reading it on his way. *Exciting* he thought. *A broken wrist.* He walked into the room and looked up at the woman sitting on the table. "Mrs. Mason?" He asked. She looked up, looking mildly startled at seeing him standing there.  
"Yes?" She said meekly.  
"Hello, I'm Dr. Dave. I'm going to be looking at your wrist." He said and he pulled up a chair besides the bed. He noticed now that she had a big bruise over one eye and her lip was swollen.   
"So what happened?" He asked, forming his own idea as he carefully picked up the wrist.  
  
"I fell of my bike." she said softly.  
"OK." Dave said, knowing perfectly well she was lying. "I'm going to send you to get an X-ray on your wrist. Would you like me to look at your bruises?" He asked. The woman just nodded no.   
"OK." He said. He didn't get up, he stayed where he was and looked intently at the woman, then looked down at the chart.  
"I see you've been in the hospital a lot lately." He said casually, as if to strike up a conversation. She merely nodded. Dave turned to her again and looked her straight in the eyes.  
"Mrs. Mason, has anyone been hitting you." There was nothing that resembled an answer.  
"Mrs. Mason. If you tell me I can make it stop." still she didn't answer. He sat there for a few minutes, then stood up to go. When he was almost to the door a little voice popped in.  
"My husband sometimes loses his temper. But he loves me." The woman said mildly.  
"Is your husband in chairs?" Dave asked. The woman nodded.  
As he walked out of the room he stopped at the admit desk.  
"Randi call pysch. I've got an abusive husband in chairs." He said, eyeing chairs slowly.  
"Has she admitted?" Randi asked, already dialing the number. Dave nodded. He stalled a while, pretending to look at charts, giving pysch some time to come down. Then he stood in front of chairs.  
  
"Mr. Mason?" He asked. A man in the corner stood up. It took Dave all his strength to keep a calm face and a casual voice.  
"Is my wife all right?" he asked. Dave was surprised, he actually sounded concerned.  
"Yes. She probably has a broken wrist, and she has some bruises on her face. We'll get an X-ray on the wrist then we'll splint it and she should be able to go home." Out of the corner of his eye Dave saw some men walked up to Randi. Randi pointed to Dave then continued to watch intently. As the men walked up behind Mr. Mason, Dave tried to talk slowly.  
"Mr. Mason, these men want to ask you a few questions. Will you go with them?" Mr. Mason turned around, a little surprised that two men were behind him, but managed to nod.  
"Sure." He said and he allowed the men to lead him away.  
~~~  
  
Dave had just finished his last patient and Kerry had insisted that he go home and get some sleep before his next shift. He put his last chart down and was about to head for the lounge when Randi got his attention.  
"Hold on." She said to the person she was talking to on the phone. She covered up the end then looked back at Dave. "That man you sent psych on was released." She said. "I think the lady denied it this time."  
Dave merely nodded and headed for the lounge. It happened so often, and he couldn't do anything about it.   
  
He grabbed his coat and slipped it on. It was pretty cold and riding his bike in the wind would make it colder. He walked out through the ambulance bay door and stood momentarily to adjust to the cool wind. He started to walk towards his bike. He had just leaned down to unchain it when he felt something hard connect with the back of his head. He fell immediately sprawling to the ground. He landed face up, and he was conscious just long enough to see the face of his attacker.   
  
Lydia and Mark went outside to meet the ambulance coming in. They didn't have to wait long because it came zooming up to the bay. Almost before stopping two paramedics burst through the doors of the ambulance pulling a stretcher with them. One began to rattle off the details, "Motorcycle versus truck. 34 year old male..." All of a sudden he was interrupted by his partner.  
"Who's that?" She asked motioning over to a crumpled form by the bicycle rack.  
"He looks like one of yours." The first paramedic said, looking at Mark.   
  
"Lydia, go get a gurney!" Mark called leaving the paramedics to bring their patient in as he rushed over to the figure. A bike had fallen to partly cover the person's body. Mark removed it quickly and looked down at the deformed face. Mark shuddered. It was Dave.  
  
End of part 4  
  
  



	5. The Weak Link 5

The Weak Link 5  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
"We need another gurney out here!" Lydia called as she burst through the entrance. She paused to get a look around then found Elizabeth Corday. "We need a gurney!" She repeated. Elizabeth glanced around and when she noticed Malik coming with one she quickly followed Lydia outside.  
  
"Mark what have you got?" Elizabeth asked as she approached him. Mark was busy taking vital signs but found time to answer.  
"Altered LOC. Looks like a victim of assault." He said, stopping to help Malik lift the body up to the gurney. The victim was moving slightly, but he was very weak and he definitely wasn't all there. Elizabeth involuntarily shuddered when she got a glimpse of the body for the first time. The face was severely beaten and deformed, the left arm looked badly twisted, and the clothes were torn in several places. Elizabeth found her self speechless as she followed the gurney into the hospital, but the next thing Mark said surprised her more.  
"It's Malucci." Mark said as they came through the doors. Immediately he switched into his doctor mode. "Clear a trauma!" He said already heading for Trauma 2.  
  
"OK Mrs. Klein, I'm going to take your blood pressure now." Carter was saying when he heard the commotion. It sounded like somebody wanted a gurney.  
"What's all that racket?" Mrs. Klein asked.  
"I don't know, but if you'll hold on a minute I'll go check it out." without waiting to see if she agreed with the plan Carter left the room and walked briskly towards the desk.   
"Randi, what's going on?"  
"Lydia came in requesting a gurney, I think Corday is with her now."  
Carter turned just as Mark, Elizabeth and Lydia came through the ambulance doors. Mark called for a trauma room and Carter followed behind.  
  
"What is it?" Carter asked.  
"30 year old male, victim of assault." Elizabeth said, cutting off whatever Mark had planned on saying. To Carter it looked like more like attempted murder than assault.   
"Do you need me?" Carter asked.  
"No." Elizabeth responded quickly.  
~~~  
  
"He's unconscious. Let's get some type specific this time." Mark said as they entered the room. "OK on my count. 1. 2. 3."  
"Let's cut off these clothes and get a look at him." Elizabeth said.  
"He's got a weak pulse." Lydia read from the newly hooked up machines. Malik came and cut off Dave's shirt. Everyone looked involuntarily at Dave's chest.  
"Let's get a line in. There's quite a lot of bruising, he might have some broken ribs." Mark said.  
"Yes he does. Decreased breath sounds on the right. He punctured his lung." Elizabeth said, as she took her stethoscope away she noticed something. It was a long thin scar slightly criss-crossing over a portion of his stomach. She pushed it out of her mind.  
"Let's tube him." Mark said, reaching to grab the instruments from Malik.  
"I'll put in the chest tube." Elizabeth volunteered. She moved to get a better angle then performed the procedure with the ease of expertise. "We need to splint his arm and bring him up to the surgery now." She said as she finished, looking at Malik, silently telling him to call up the OR. Mark nodded.  
"His heart beat is low. 3 of Atropine. As soon as he's stable Elizabeth."   
  
Elizabeth waited impatiently until Mark nodded. "OK, let's move him!" She said immediately, helping push the gurney to the OR elevators. It seemed to take forever and her eyes darted back and forth from Dave and the number of the floor they were passing. When the familiar sound of the chime came and the doors opened she pushed him as fast as she could to the room.  
  
After explaining the case more thoroughly to Romano (who accepted to help only after hearing that it was a staff member), she pulled herself away long enough to scrub in. She headed back towards the operating table. Even though Dave had been unconscious and was now under anesthesia she still whispered, "You're going to be all right."  
~~~  
  
"How come nobody saw it?" Romano demanded.  
"We didn't have any traumas for a long time. Everyone else working was still on for at least another hour, so no one was coming and going." Kerry tried to explain.  
"And nobody heard anything?" Ramano asked skeptically.  
"We have reason to believe Dr. Malucci was unconscious after the first blow." Kerry answered. She really had nothing to back this up but that was the only logical explanation.  
  
"Dave is stable and should be waking up soon. He should be able to answer these questions." Mark spoke up for the first time.  
~~~  
  
"When did he start breathing on his own?" Mark asked Elizabeth as he entered the room.  
"About an hour ago. How was the meeting?"  
"As to be expected, a lot of questions and no answers." They stood silently and stared down at Dave. Mark was a little relieved to hear he was breathing on his own despite what he had said earlier in the meeting.  
  
Elizabeth made a short little sigh and muttered something under her breath. She turned to Mark then back to Dave. "Not even Dave deserves this. He's just not getting a break." Though Elizabeth sounded harsh Mark knew that inside she really felt sorry for Dave.  
~~~  
  
Dave lie still in his bed. He couldn't talk, he couldn't move, and he couldn't feel a single thing. It took him a while to notice he couldn't see out of one eye. Normally, this would have freaked him out, but he was so doped up he didn't care. He wanted to get the tube out of his throat, he had a million questions, but he couldn't get anyone's attention.  
  
A nurse came in to check his IV, he tried to move, to make a noise, even just to bat an eye. He drained all of his energy in the effort, but the nurse didn't so much as glance at him. He didn't care anymore, he was already drifting back to sleep.  
~~~  
  
Elizabeth entered the room a few hours later. Her eyes were fixed firmly on the chart and then only moved to quickly check Dave's vitals and then back to the chart to jot them down. It pained her to look at him, she avoided it whenever possible, which is why she almost missed it. She was just about to leave when something caught her eye. It was the smallest of movements, but she had seen it. Dave had moved his hand slightly, and now he had her full attention.  
  
"Dave. Dave can you hear me?" Elizabeth asked hurriedly stepping up next to the bed. Dave gave her the slightest of nods. "Good, good. Dave listen to me. You suffered some head trauma, but besides a concussion nothing serious. You had a punctured lung, but I fixed it right up for you. Also your arm is broken, but we have splinted it." She waited and looked at him straight in the eye. He gave her another minuscule nod. He motioned lightly at his throat, bringing his arm as close as he could.  
  
"Your tube? Dave, do you want to take your tube out?" She asked. Dave nodded. "OK Dave you know the drill, blow real hard now." She had to struggle a second to get it out, Dave's breathing was still rather shallow. Dave didn't try to talk when the tube was out like most patients, unlike most patients Dave was a doctor.  
  
After she gave Dave a sip of water she continued. "Dave, I'm going to put a mask on you all right?" Dave lifted his head slightly so she could attach the oxygen mask. She looked down at him again. "Dave do you know where you are?" She asked. Dave nodded. "Do you remember what happened?" Dave tried to think. He had tried to commit suicide, but he had gotten better and gone back to work. That was all he could think of. He shook his head 'no'. Elizabeth sighed. "It's OK Dave. That's normal. You're going to be all right."  
~~~  
  
Mark hung up the phone and sighed a sigh of relief. "Where's Kerry?" He asked.   
"Here." Kerry answered coming up behind him. "What is it?"  
"Dave woke up." Mark answered. Kerry didn't sigh but Mark could see the relieved look on her face.  
"Are you going to go up and see him?" Kerry asked. Mark looked quickly at the board; there were some new patients but not many.  
"I don't see why not." he uttered.  
"Good. Tell me how he is when you get back." Mark nodded and headed towards the elevator.  
  
Mark got off at the ICU and quickly found Dave's room. He paused and watched Elizabeth through the window. Elizabeth had insisted on being Dave's doctor. Mark wasn't quite sure why. Finally he reached for the handle and entered. Elizabeth turned immediately and smiled. "Mark is here." She said to Dave, who couldn't see him at his angle. Dave lifted his arm slightly in a 'Hello' kind of way.  
  
Mark walked up next to the bed and leaned over him, quickly assessing his state. "So, how are you doing?" Dave merely put his hand in a weak thumbs up. "Good good, glad to here it. You gave everyone quite a scare, again." He smiled down at him. Dave smiled a little. He seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open, and Mark noticed this. "Dave you just get some sleep now, OK?" Dave nodded and turned his head slightly. Mark slowly moved away and Elizabeth followed him.   
  
They walked to the other side of the room and started to talk in whispers. "How is he?" Mark asked.  
"The surgery went well. He has a nasty break and a headache but he should be fine." Elizabeth responded. Mark nodded, a great pressure lifted off his shoulder.  
"Do you know who did it?"  
"He doesn't remember as of now, but it should come back. As soon as it does we're going to nail that bastard." Elizabeth said spitefully.  
  
  



	6. The Weak Link 6

  
The Weak Link 6  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
Dave woke with a start. He had had another nightmare. 'My memory must be coming back.' he thought. He was relieved, because when he remembered his attacker Elizabeth would make sure he was arrested, but he didn't think he wanted to remember what had happened. He tossed off what little blanket was still on him and painfully stood up. It wasn't so much that his legs were injured, they weren't, he was just fatigued; and every time he moved his muscles groaned in protest. Elizabeth had brought him a wheelchair the day before, in case he wanted to go somewhere, but he couldn't bring himself to use it. He had to be strong, he was always the strong one.  
  
The clock on the small table read 9:10 a.m. 'I should be working.' he thought. He made the slow and horrendous journey to the small bathroom he had grown accustomed to. When he finally got there he just stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't have to go to the bathroom or anything else, he had just made the journey for the sake of making the journey. He continued to look at himself for several minutes. He analyzed everything he could see, his face and upper chest. The bruises were receding but still hideous, his face seemed hollow and tired. He hated that face; it looked weak. He decided then that he would get out of his room and show everyone he wasn't weak, without his wheelchair.  
~~~  
  
Elizabeth headed down the hall to Dave's room. She entered the room and found it dark and empty. The wheelchair was still where she had left it. "Malucci are you in the bathroom?" She called. When there was no answer she walked forward to find the door to the bathroom open. Cursing softly she walked to the nurses station. "Where's Dr. Malucci? He's not in his room." She said demandingly.  
"I know, he just left. I think he went to the ER. He wanted to visit some of the doctors." She didn't look up at Elizabeth but continued filling out a form.  
"Without his wheelchair? The stupid bastard." She turned quickly and headed for the elevator.  
  
~~~  
Dave limped off the elevator slowly. He stood a moment, relieved that everything was just as he remembered it. It seemed pretty busy. So many people were buzzing around no one noticed him. He peeked into a couple of rooms, but didn't really see anyone he wanted to talk to. He made his way towards the lounge, stopping constantly to relieve the throbbing pain and catch his breath. When he finally got there he looked in only to see Kerry. He really didn't want to talk to festus. He decided he would just go to admitting and chat with Randi or whoever until someone came by.   
  
He was almost there when he suddenly buckled against the wall, he couldn't go any farther. He closed his eyes and silently tried to will the pain away. "Malucci!" a faint voice cried. A second later someone was shaking him. He was tired and he wanted to sleep. He tried to bat the hand away, but could barely push on it at all. "Get me a gurney!" The voice was called. Then he felt hands all over him. He didn't like it. He tried to push and kick them away, but they easily overwhelmed him.   
"Dave you've got to relax!" another voice was telling him. Dave wasn't in control, they were; and he didn't like it.  
~~~  
  
When he finally opened his eyes he found himself staring at the ceiling. He tried to sit up, but some soft restraints were holding him down. He groaned and tried to figure out what had happened. All he could remember was the bad dream of being overwhelmed. Then he remembered trying to find someone to talk to. He smiled and said comically, "Hello? Anybody out there?" He was severely shocked when he actually got an answer.  
"Dave? You're awake?" He heard Mark ask. Dave flinched slightly when Mark's face came into view as he leaned over him.  
"Where's Dr. Corday?" He asked, this leaning over him stuff wasn't making him any happier.  
"She had to go to surgery. You made her a little late as it was." He said in a scolding school teacher tone.  
"Well geez, I didn't mean to." he said sarcastically.  
"Dave, if you wanted to come down and visit us you should have come in your wheelchair."  
"I don't need a wheelchair." Dave insisted.  
"It probably would have helped you today."   
Dave resigned, he still wasn't really clear on what happened but he thought he understood.   
  
As if Mark had read his thoughts he explained what had happened, "You collapsed. When Elizabeth found you, you were near unconscious and disoriented. You kept muttering about control and trying to fight us when he tried to get you on the gurney. You really endangered yourself with that stunt. Elizabeth told me to warn you that she will lock you in your room if you don't use your wheel chair from now on."  
Dave knew he had no choice, he hated not being able to make his own decision.  
"Yeah, OK." He finally agreed.  
"Good." Mark said. "I assume if I remove your restraints you won't attack me." he said jeeringly as he unbuckled the restrains. Dave immediately struggled into a sitting position.   
  
He could see now that he was still in the ER; Exam two by the looks of it. Mark stepped back so he was no longer in his face.   
"OK here comes a big decision. Do you want to stay here in bed for a while. Take a wheelchair back up to your room, or get in the wheelchair and I'll wheel you around a bit." Mark said. Dave noticed a wheelchair next to his bed.   
"I'll stay here for a bit."  
~~~  
  
After Mark left Dave waited ten minutes before painfully sliding himself into the wheelchair. He grimaced slightly until he found himself a remotely comfortable position. He slowly wheeled himself towards the door. The pain this released on his arms was immense but he handled it. He struggled a while to get the door open, the whole time another patient in the room had his eyes on him, probably seeing the scrubs he was wearing. Dave had insisted on the scrubs; Elizabeth hadn't even tried to argue.  
  
He finally got out to find that the ER had slowed tremendously since he had seen it last. He wondered how long he had been out but quickly pushed it out of his mind. He decided that there was probably someone in the lounge so he headed over. From his wheelchair he couldn't peek through to the lounge but decided to go in anyway. He opened this door a little faster and was able to quickly get his wheelchair in before it slammed in his face.  
  
Carter was at the counter getting some coffee but his head was already turned towards Dave. "Dave!" He said a little astonished.  
"Yesterday, today and forever." Dave said wearily, why was Carter always so surprised to see him.  
"I heard about what happened earlier, you should have used your wheelchair." Carter had a smile on his face, a welcome contradiction to Mark's scolding.   
"Yeah, I know." Dave said, not wanting to argue.  
Carter gave a little snicker, "You remind me of me." he said. Carter absentmindedly set his coffee down and turned his full attention to Dave.  
"When I was recovering from my uh..... accident, I was always pushing myself; trying to make it to my room, trying to do everything myself. You, of course, did it at a much grander scale." suddenly Carter's face turned serious, and he went over and sat on the couch. Dave wheeled so that he was next to him.  
"Are you still seeing your psychologist, Dave?"  
"No. Stopped when I came back to work."  
"Maybe you should take it up again." Carter said solemnly.  
"Why?" Dave asked, he didn't like where this was going.  
"You could probably use some help."  
"I don't need help. I've never had any help but I've always come out on top. I never need help." Dave said stubbornly through clenched teeth.  
"How can you be so headstrong?" Carter mused. "Can't you admit that even you need help sometimes?"  
"Carter, you may have been raised with on a silver spoon, but that doesn't mean everyone is. You have no idea how I was raised. You have no idea what I have been through. Compared to that this is nothing. And I'm talking physically and mentally." He stared sternly at the bewildered Carter for a full minute, then Dave wheeled himself out of the lounge, to the elevator, and up to his room.  
~~~  
  
"Is Dr. Malucci back in his room?" Elizabeth asked the lady at the nurses station before making her trip to his room.   
"Yeah but you can't go in." she answered evenly  
"Why the hell not?" Elizabeth demanded.  
"He doesn't want to see anybody."  
"Well I'm his doctor!" Elizabeth exclaimed. The woman sighed and looked up at her.   
"I know." She said softly, "But I think it would be best if you didn't go in."  
Elizabeth turned and walked defiantly towards Dave's room. She knocked lightly then pressed her face up against the door. "Dave, may I come in?" She said.  
"Go away!" An irritable voice answered. Elizabeth decided not to press the issue, but to go down and question Mark instead.  
  
"Mark, do you know why Dave suddenly refuses to see me?" She asked Mark as soon as she found him at the admit desk looking over a chart.   
"He won't see you?" Mark asked, astonished.  
"No he won't."  
"I don't understand, he asked for you when he first woke up. Later I went to check on him but he was gone. Since his wheelchair was gone too I figured he had just gone up." Mark asked, turning once again to his chart. Carter had over heard the conversation as he walked towards the desk and decided to jump in.  
"Dave came into the lounge an hour ago." Carter started, waiting until he got Elizabeth's attention and she turned towards him. "We started talking and I suggested that he go by to his psychologist. He got really mad and started rambling about how he didn't need help, and that he had gotten through worse before." As Carter finished, he was afraid that Elizabeth would yell out him, but she merely sighed.  
"What are we going to do with him?" She asked wearily  
~~~  
  
....Dave was at the beach, a very crowded beach. He was sitting soaking up the rays when something caught his eye. When he focused in on it he saw a little girl. He watched her for a second then realized she was drowning. "That little girl is drowning!" He cried, jumping up and pointing his finger. Nobody noticed. He stood there for a second then ran right for the ocean. He swam as hard as he could. He could hear the girl screaming; slowly getting closer. He brought his head up to see he was almost there.   
  
He could see the terrified look in the girl's eyes, and her head was almost submerged. He swam a couple of strokes and reached out for her. He was so close. He stretched he arm as far as he could. Only a little further. Just when his finger was about to touch her she disappeared. Dave turned around, trying to find her, and then noticed the beach completely vacant.   
  
Then he was sucked down, right into the water. He struggled with his arms and tried to kick his legs, but something was holding them. His lungs begged for air, and his vision started to blur. His ears were starting to pop, and his head felt like it was going to explode. His shoulders were shaking now, the thing had gotten a hold on his shoulders. He couldn't go on anymore. He had held his breath as long as he could....  
  
"Malucci, wake up!" Elizabeth screamed. Dave was still fighting her; trying to hit her away. His eyes were closed tight and it seemed like he couldn't breath. "Wake up! Wake up now!" Then, without warning his eyes darted open and he took a deep, ragged breath. His eyes darted around the room unfocused. Then they slowly relaxed and settled on Elizabeth. He was still breathing hard, and he seemed a little confused.  
  
"Dave, are you all right? I think you were having a nightmare." Elizabeth, her hands still firmly on his shoulders. Dave simply nodded. After staring at him a moment longer she let go and settled back in her chair. Dave's breathing had slowed, but he still made no effort to talk. "Dave." Elizabeth said sincerely, "I really think you should see your psychologist again. You might need help, and you might not; better to be safe than sorry." She expected Dave to immediately refuse, but surprisingly he just paused then nodded calmly. Elizabeth, unwittingly, let out a sigh of relief. She stood and said, "You probably need some more sleep." Then she turned and left.  
  
The room was bright because all the lights had been turned on. Dave squinted a little and looked around the room. It was completely empty. He knew that he couldn't sleep anymore, he wouldn't want to even if he could. He spotted his wheelchair next to him, and decided to go for a ride. He slid painfully off his bed, repositioned himself, then left the room.   
  
He didn't know where to go for a while, then it just came to him. The only place in the hospital he could think of that was happy all the time. He spent three hours just looking at the babies in the nursery, before he left again; off in search for a new place to park. He some how ended up in the Pysch ward. He remembered what John and Elizabeth had said, but he wasn't sure he wanted to do it just now. He wasn't ready just yet.  
~~~  
  
When Dave got back to his room Mark and Elizabeth were there, plus two police officers. The officers were interrogating Mark, "So you just found him there. You didn't see anyone around who could have done it?"  
"No, Dr Malucci was probably there for a while before we found him."  
The other cop, who was writing on a pad of paper, looked up and saw Dave.  
"Is that Dr. Malucci?" He asked. Mark and Elizabeth both turned.  
"Yes." Mark said.  
  
"Dr. Malucci, we just have a couple of questions for you." The first one said. Dave nodded as he wheeled himself towards his bed. "Did you see who did this to you?"   
"No," Dave said, shaking his head. "I mean yes, I think I did. I just can't remember who's it was." The other officer jumped in, wanting to do more than just write.  
"Is there anyone who you could have upset, anyone with any motive." Dave thought back to the day of the accident. He tried to remember what he had done, the patients he had seen. Then suddenly it hit him, hit him hard. Everyone else in the room could see it by the sudden flare of his eyes. The pieces all fit together. A sequence from his dreams played in his head, this time with the face in full view.  
  
"Mr. Mason." Dave said softly.  
"Who?" Elizabeth asked, as eager as the cops.  
"Mr. Mason," Dave repeated louder. "I treated his wife. She said she was being abused so I turned him in. Then she denied it and they let him go."  
"Are you sure it was him?" The officer asked. Dave nodded fervently.  
"OK. That's all we need. When he arrest him we'll bring him over for identification. Have a good day." With that both the officers filed out.  
  
Mark, Elizabeth and Dave just looked at each other for a moment, then Elizabeth broke the silence. "Well Dave, I bet it feels better knowing soon Mr. Mason will be behind bars." Dave nodded, but he didn't really agree. He could just imagine his dreams to come now that he had a face to fill them.  
"And also pretty soon you should be able to go home." Mark said, a smile on his face. "I bet you'll enjoy not being cooped up in here much longer."  
"But you will need lots of rest." Elizabeth butted in. Dave nodded as he pulled himself up onto his bed.  
"Right, right." he said, motioning for them to leave.  
~~~  
  
Dave sat on the most uncomfortable chair in the house, staring blankly at the TV in front of him. He had been released two days ago, and this was his second night at home. He was starting to drift off again, so he popped another caffeine pill. He knew that it only had a temporary effect, but he didn't care; He didn't care as long as he didn't have to go to sleep and face his dreams. 


	7. The Weak Link 7

  
  
The Weak Link 7  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
The three days after Dave was released were busy days for Mark and Elizabeth. They both had several shifts and Elizabeth had been involved in a couple of extra long surgeries. They had planned to both go check up on Dave together, so it wasn't until the forth day that they saw him.  
~~~  
Mark and Elizabeth walked up to Dave's apartment door. "Dave? Are you in?" Elizabeth called out as she knocked. They waited a moment, then Elizabeth turned to Mark. "He better not be out exhausting himself." Mark just gave her a smile and knocked on the door himself. When there was still no answer Mark turned the handle. It turned easily and the door swung open.   
  
The apartment was messy and Dave was no where in sight. "Dave are you in here?" Elizabeth called after they took a couple of steps in. She looked around and saw Dave's rented wheelchair in the corner. As they walked further in the kitchen came into view. A figure sat hunched in a chair with his back to them. "Dave?" Elizabeth asked, her voice audibly shaken. They walked over quickly and Elizabeth shook Dave's shoulders. He turned, suddenly, to face them. He was a mess. His face was slightly dirty and his hair unkempt. He had bags under his eyes and his eye's were glazed and open wildly.  
  
"Elizabeth." He said softly.  
"Yes Dave, I'm here." She said shivering. She was now clutching Mark's arm tightly.  
"Why did you push me off the cliff Elizabeth?" Dave asked, his eye's piercing into her.  
"Dave, I don't know what you are talking about."  
"You pushed me off Elizabeth. But you caught me, so it's OK." Elizabeth and Mark stared at him. They looked at each other and agreed, he was clearly delusional.  
"I couldn't save her." He whispered softly.  
"Couldn't save who Dave?" Mark asked.  
"The little girl, she was drowning. I tried to get to her, but it got her. It got everyone. It got me." He said, looking up at them with a terrified expression in his eyes.  
  
Mark's eyes wandered around the table and he spotted the box of pills. He walked around the table, carefully keeping clear of Dave, and grabbed it. "Caffeine pills." He told Elizabeth. It was not quite what they were expecting.  
"Mark, we need to get him to the hospital." Elizabeth said softly, avoiding Dave's eyes, which were looking straight up at her. Mark nodded.  
"But something tells me he's not going to go willingly." Mark answered. "We better call an ambulance."  
~~~  
  
Dave was rolled into the ER on a gurney with soft restraints. Kerry immediately limped over to them. "Again? Mark! Elizabeth! What happened?" Kerry asked as she followed them to a room. Mark handed her the bottle of pills. "What's this?" she asked, not understanding.  
"Something tells me he hasn't slept in a long time." Mark said, already starting to exam him.   
"His heart sounds OK." Elizabeth said, "But we should keep the monitors on for a while."  
"Why wouldn't he want to sleep?" Kerry interrupted.  
"I think he's been having nightmares." Elizabeth answered.   
  
Dave was still awake and his eyes darted around the room. They rested on the closest person to him. "Elizabeth, please. Please Elizabeth don't make me sleep." He said, sounding more reasonable but his voice was trembling. Elizabeth didn't answer, but completely ignored him. Dave turned to Mark. "Mark?" He asked. Mark didn't look at him either. Then Dave's pleading eyes fell on Kerry, and they made contact.   
"Chief. Chief, please don't let them put me to sleep." Kerry looked him straight in the eyes.  
"Dave," She said calmly, "We're going to do everything we can to help you get better."  
"No, Chief! No, Please!" Dave cried, but Kerry just turned away. She took a deep breath, then walked out the door, a tear streaming down her face.  
~~~  
  
Kerry haltingly made her way to the lounge. She pushed the door open and fell onto the couch, throwing her crutch aside. She ran her hands through her hair and laid back. She stared at the ceiling. Noticing spots and stains she had never seen before. Mark walked in, and she realized she didn't know how long she had been in there. "How is he?" She asked.  
"Oh, he'll be fine." Mark answered encouragingly. "But I do think we'll have to admit him into pysch." He continued more gravely. Kerry nodded, closing her eyes and sighing. 'Yes, we will.' she thought to herself.  
~~~  
  
"He's still asleep?" Kerry asked as she stepped into the room. Haleh finished hooking up a new bag of saline and turned to her.  
"I think all that caffeine is finally catching up to him." She answered.  
Kerry nodded. "Monitor him closely." Haleh nodded and turned to check the machines once again.  
~~~  
  
Mr Mason's face was hovering over him. It was just his face, somehow disconnected from his body. It was looking at him, grinning the evil grin of a circus clown. He tried to swing at him. He really wanted to punch him, but every time he tried Mr. Mason just laughed and his head levitated just out of reach. Dave began to curse at him, swinging more wildly now, swearing that he'd get him. Then he felt something shaking him. He opened his eyes and....  
  
It was a worried Haleh looking down at him. "Dave?" She asked plainly.  
"Haleh?" he had to admit, he was more then a little confused.  
"Yes, Dave. It's me. If you calm down I'll go get Kerry." Dave nodded and tried to wave her off, but he found his hands in soft restraints. Haleh looked at him sympathetically.  
"Sorry Dave, it was necessary." With that Haleh walked out of the room. Dave knew where he was now, but he didn't know why. He didn't seem hurt, and he definitely didn't feel more then his normal pain. Why had he been brought to the ER?  
  
Kerry entered only a moment after Haleh exited. "Dave, you find yourself here again." she said as she walked up to him.  
"Yeah, sure Chief. To tell you the truth, I really don't understand why." He felt stupid having to ask Kerry what had happened, but he wanted to know.  
"Mark and Elizabeth found you in your apartment. You were delusional, and they found caffeine pills on your table. Have you been getting much sleep Dave?" She asked, her face creased with worry.  
"No, not really." He answered. "So I didn't sleep and became delusional?" Dave asked, still confused. Kerry nodded.  
"We concluded that you had taken the caffeine pills to stay awake. That was very dangerous and stupid of you Dave." Kerry's tone was soft but reprimanding.   
"I just didn't want to sleep." He answered , knowing very well it was a weak answer.  
"Would you like to tell me why?" Kerry asked. She waited a moment then added, "You don't have to, if you don't want to."  
"I just have nightmares." Dave answered quickly, looking down at his hands.   
  
Kerry was silent, thinking of what to say. Well after the silence had become awkward she spoke again. "Dave, we have called pysch to come down and asses you." She wasn't looking directly at him. Dave nodded, he would have done the same. "They should be here anytime," She continued, "I think Bill is coming down personally." Dave nodded again. In the case of a doctor patient they always brought down the best. The awkward silence started up again, but it wasn't as long this time. "Do you need anything?" Kerry asked. "Because I really should be getting back." Dave shook his head and watched Kerry leave.  
~~~  
  
Carter saw someone walk past the admit desk. He recognized him as someone from pysch and wondered what patient he had seen (thinking involuntarily of Paul Sobriki).   
"It's sad isn't it?" Randi said suddenly.  
"What?" Carter asking, snapping back to reality.  
"Dave." she answered indirectly.  
"What about Dave?" He asked, to be totally honest he was getting annoyed of all the 'Dave this' and 'Dave that's.  
"You didn't hear?" Randi asked incredulously. Carter just shook his head. "Well, Haleh said Mark and Elizabeth found him in his apartment, very delusional. He had taken a whole bunch of caffeine pills to stay awake. He was having nightmares. Haleh said they must be bad, she had to wake him up from one."   
  
Carter sat and thought a while. After he and Lucy were attacked, and Lucy died, he had nightmares too. He, however, was always trying to go to sleep. "Do you think I should go see him?" He asked Randi. Randi just shrugged, how did she know?  
  
Carter walked up to the room and stepped in before he had a chance to stop himself. Dave was lying on the bed, not sleeping, but he looked really exhausted. Dave's eyes moved slightly in Carter's direction, the only sign of acknowledgment that Carter got.   
"Hey, Dave." Carter said softly.  
"Hey." Dave answered back.  
"Listen Dave, I'm sorry about what I said before."  
"Hey, no. Its OK man. You were right." Dave answered compliantly.  
  
"So, uh..." Carter started awkwardly, "Are you seeing anyone about it?"  
"Yeah. Kerry called pysch for me." Dave paused then to take a deep breath. "It's weird because I don't remember any of it." Then he smiled, "I sure gave Elizabeth and Mark a scare though."  
"Yeah, I heard about that." Carter said, smiling more easily now.  
~~~  
  
After hours in the hospital and hours with Bill, Dave went back home. He climbed up the stairs to his apartment to find something taped to his door. He sighed and headed to the landlord's apartment.  
  
  
To be continued in my next series....  
  
The Weak Link 7  
By Alyssa Santos  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is my first Fan Fiction and I have little to no medical knowledge so give me a break. You can E-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  
  
  
The three days after Dave was released were busy days for Mark and Elizabeth. They both had several shifts and Elizabeth had been involved in a couple of extra long surgeries. They had planned to both go check up on Dave together, so it wasn't until the forth day that they saw him.  
~~~  
Mark and Elizabeth walked up to Dave's apartment door. "Dave? Are you in?" Elizabeth called out as she knocked. They waited a moment, then Elizabeth turned to Mark. "He better not be out exhausting himself." Mark just gave her a smile and knocked on the door himself. When there was still no answer Mark turned the handle. It turned easily and the door swung open.   
  
The apartment was messy and Dave was no where in sight. "Dave are you in here?" Elizabeth called after they took a couple of steps in. She looked around and saw Dave's rented wheelchair in the corner. As they walked further in the kitchen came into view. A figure sat hunched in a chair with his back to them. "Dave?" Elizabeth asked, her voice audibly shaken. They walked over quickly and Elizabeth shook Dave's shoulders. He turned, suddenly, to face them. He was a mess. His face was slightly dirty and his hair unkempt. He had bags under his eyes and his eye's were glazed and open wildly.  
  
"Elizabeth." He said softly.  
"Yes Dave, I'm here." She said shivering. She was now clutching Mark's arm tightly.  
"Why did you push me off the cliff Elizabeth?" Dave asked, his eye's piercing into her.  
"Dave, I don't know what you are talking about."  
"You pushed me off Elizabeth. But you caught me, so it's OK." Elizabeth and Mark stared at him. They looked at each other and agreed, he was clearly delusional.  
"I couldn't save her." He whispered softly.  
"Couldn't save who Dave?" Mark asked.  
"The little girl, she was drowning. I tried to get to her, but it got her. It got everyone. It got me." He said, looking up at them with a terrified expression in his eyes.  
  
Mark's eyes wandered around the table and he spotted the box of pills. He walked around the table, carefully keeping clear of Dave, and grabbed it. "Caffeine pills." He told Elizabeth. It was not quite what they were expecting.  
"Mark, we need to get him to the hospital." Elizabeth said softly, avoiding Dave's eyes, which were looking straight up at her. Mark nodded.  
"But something tells me he's not going to go willingly." Mark answered. "We better call an ambulance."  
~~~  
  
Dave was rolled into the ER on a gurney with soft restraints. Kerry immediately limped over to them. "Again? Mark! Elizabeth! What happened?" Kerry asked as she followed them to a room. Mark handed her the bottle of pills. "What's this?" she asked, not understanding.  
"Something tells me he hasn't slept in a long time." Mark said, already starting to exam him.   
"His heart sounds OK." Elizabeth said, "But we should keep the monitors on for a while."  
"Why wouldn't he want to sleep?" Kerry interrupted.  
"I think he's been having nightmares." Elizabeth answered.   
  
Dave was still awake and his eyes darted around the room. They rested on the closest person to him. "Elizabeth, please. Please Elizabeth don't make me sleep." He said, sounding more reasonable but his voice was trembling. Elizabeth didn't answer, but completely ignored him. Dave turned to Mark. "Mark?" He asked. Mark didn't look at him either. Then Dave's pleading eyes fell on Kerry, and they made contact.   
"Chief. Chief, please don't let them put me to sleep." Kerry looked him straight in the eyes.  
"Dave," She said calmly, "We're going to do everything we can to help you get better."  
"No, Chief! No, Please!" Dave cried, but Kerry just turned away. She took a deep breath, then walked out the door, a tear streaming down her face.  
~~~  
  
Kerry haltingly made her way to the lounge. She pushed the door open and fell onto the couch, throwing her crutch aside. She ran her hands through her hair and laid back. She stared at the ceiling. Noticing spots and stains she had never seen before. Mark walked in, and she realized she didn't know how long she had been in there. "How is he?" She asked.  
"Oh, he'll be fine." Mark answered encouragingly. "But I do think we'll have to admit him into pysch." He continued more gravely. Kerry nodded, closing her eyes and sighing. 'Yes, we will.' she thought to herself.  
~~~  
  
"He's still asleep?" Kerry asked as she stepped into the room. Haleh finished hooking up a new bag of saline and turned to her.  
"I think all that caffeine is finally catching up to him." She answered.  
Kerry nodded. "Monitor him closely." Haleh nodded and turned to check the machines once again.  
~~~  
  
Mr Mason's face was hovering over him. It was just his face, somehow disconnected from his body. It was looking at him, grinning the evil grin of a circus clown. He tried to swing at him. He really wanted to punch him, but every time he tried Mr. Mason just laughed and his head levitated just out of reach. Dave began to curse at him, swinging more wildly now, swearing that he'd get him. Then he felt something shaking him. He opened his eyes and....  
  
It was a worried Haleh looking down at him. "Dave?" She asked plainly.  
"Haleh?" he had to admit, he was more then a little confused.  
"Yes, Dave. It's me. If you calm down I'll go get Kerry." Dave nodded and tried to wave her off, but he found his hands in soft restraints. Haleh looked at him sympathetically.  
"Sorry Dave, it was necessary." With that Haleh walked out of the room. Dave knew where he was now, but he didn't know why. He didn't seem hurt, and he definitely didn't feel more then his normal pain. Why had he been brought to the ER?  
  
Kerry entered only a moment after Haleh exited. "Dave, you find yourself here again." she said as she walked up to him.  
"Yeah, sure Chief. To tell you the truth, I really don't understand why." He felt stupid having to ask Kerry what had happened, but he wanted to know.  
"Mark and Elizabeth found you in your apartment. You were delusional, and they found caffeine pills on your table. Have you been getting much sleep Dave?" She asked, her face creased with worry.  
"No, not really." He answered. "So I didn't sleep and became delusional?" Dave asked, still confused. Kerry nodded.  
"We concluded that you had taken the caffeine pills to stay awake. That was very dangerous and stupid of you Dave." Kerry's tone was soft but reprimanding.   
"I just didn't want to sleep." He answered , knowing very well it was a weak answer.  
"Would you like to tell me why?" Kerry asked. She waited a moment then added, "You don't have to, if you don't want to."  
"I just have nightmares." Dave answered quickly, looking down at his hands.   
  
Kerry was silent, thinking of what to say. Well after the silence had become awkward she spoke again. "Dave, we have called pysch to come down and asses you." She wasn't looking directly at him. Dave nodded, he would have done the same. "They should be here anytime," She continued, "I think Bill is coming down personally." Dave nodded again. In the case of a doctor patient they always brought down the best. The awkward silence started up again, but it wasn't as long this time. "Do you need anything?" Kerry asked. "Because I really should be getting back." Dave shook his head and watched Kerry leave.  
~~~  
  
Carter saw someone walk past the admit desk. He recognized him as someone from pysch and wondered what patient he had seen (thinking involuntarily of Paul Sobriki).   
"It's sad isn't it?" Randi said suddenly.  
"What?" Carter asking, snapping back to reality.  
"Dave." she answered indirectly.  
"What about Dave?" He asked, to be totally honest he was getting annoyed of all the 'Dave this' and 'Dave that's.  
"You didn't hear?" Randi asked incredulously. Carter just shook his head. "Well, Haleh said Mark and Elizabeth found him in his apartment, very delusional. He had taken a whole bunch of caffeine pills to stay awake. He was having nightmares. Haleh said they must be bad, she had to wake him up from one."   
  
Carter sat and thought a while. After he and Lucy were attacked, and Lucy died, he had nightmares too. He, however, was always trying to go to sleep. "Do you think I should go see him?" He asked Randi. Randi just shrugged, how did she know?  
  
Carter walked up to the room and stepped in before he had a chance to stop himself. Dave was lying on the bed, not sleeping, but he looked really exhausted. Dave's eyes moved slightly in Carter's direction, the only sign of acknowledgment that Carter got.   
"Hey, Dave." Carter said softly.  
"Hey." Dave answered back.  
"Listen Dave, I'm sorry about what I said before."  
"Hey, no. Its OK man. You were right." Dave answered compliantly.  
  
"So, uh..." Carter started awkwardly, "Are you seeing anyone about it?"  
"Yeah. Kerry called pysch for me." Dave paused then to take a deep breath. "It's weird because I don't remember any of it." Then he smiled, "I sure gave Elizabeth and Mark a scare though."  
"Yeah, I heard about that." Carter said, smiling more easily now.  
~~~  
  
After hours in the hospital and hours with Bill, Dave went back home. He climbed up the stairs to his apartment to find something taped to his door. He sighed and headed to the landlord's apartment.  
  
  
To be continued in my next series....  



End file.
